Excuse Me, Are You Jewish?

Chabad young men offer an on-the-go Sukkah and the chance to wave a Lulav And Etrog.

Sukkot is upon us and so are the seasonal social-media posts wondering what’s up with the Hassids clutching four obscure plants and inserting themselves abruptly with “Excuse me, are you Jewish?”

The plants are a part of Jewish ritual performed each day of Sukkot.

But the real question, more bluntly put, is: Which cult is this and how deep in are these nudniks if they’re willing to demolish the walls of polite society with uncomfortably personal questions?

The answer, in a nutshell, lies in a straightforward risk-reward calculation.

The risk is a “cringey” reaction from the generally incurious or an angry one from those whose fuse is anyway short.

The reward is for Margo.

Margo died last week to cancer. Far too young.

She had understanding eyes and an encouraging smile. She was somehow at graceful leisure with an intensely spiritual Jewish experience.

She was active in our Chabad house and always generous with her sermon reviews.

Margo’s mother was a Holocaust survivor. For reasons I don’t know, she chose not to raise her with Judaism.

The very first time Margo self-identified with her Jewishness was when she was already in adulthood.

It all started with an abrupt question, “Excuse me, are you Jewish?”

I made Margo repeat the story so many times but I regret never recording it. It was often on Shabbos and I never imagined she’d pass so soon.

It was the beginning of her unique Jewish journey.

The then-young Chabadnik is unaware of what they sparked and will likely never find out.

Conclusion: Accepting, and asking, questions that risk minor discomfort but prospect depth is a valuable habit.

Especially today, with the ever-increasing loneliness and vacuousness that everyone laments but few avoid.